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Update - [Drum roll] And the envelope, please.
The next day, our newest member apparently decides that I'm scum which should be banished from eBay, and, by golly, she's gonna do it!
That "law" thing apparently didn't work out too well, but that never stopped a determined doofus -
I will be reporting all of this to ebay [sic] . I have already inquired about this. If I have it my way you won't be selling any more
And two hours later -
I thought i [sic] told you not to con tact [sic] me again. i [sic] don't care how many sales you have had [sic] how you get your kicks. like [sic] i [sic] said i [sic] am reporting this. Just
keep ypur [sic] craziness to yourself [sic] no one cares [sic] get help!
Gosh, I'm certainly quaking in my boots now. If she had her way, the Earth would probably be flat, and I can only imagine where that would leave me.
I can picture her entertaining thoughts of me burning at a stake bought on eBay. Sort of reminiscent of the Hall member who was into voodoo pins.
I better try and placate her fast, lest I fall victim to some horrible fate -
>I will be reporting all of this to ebay [sic]
By all means, please do. The customer service reps at eBay also need a good laugh.
>I thought i told you not to con tact [sic] me again
Ah, actually, no, you didn't, but I don't expect you to understand what you typed.
And, as a matter of fact, I've changed my mind about not wasting any more time on you. Every time you strain your lonely brain cell and cough up yet another e-mail to me, I will respond to whatever your latest idiocy happens to be.
So, it's very simple. If you don't want to hear from me, stop filling my inbox with your goofiness.
Even you might be able to understand that concept.
Will it work?
Will she stomp her little foot and fulfill her true Hall potential?
It didn't take long to find out -
I recently checked out your clueless hall of fame [sic] . alot of people seem to differ with you. Are you one of those sellers who leaves positive feedbacks for theirselves [sic] using a different Id [sic] sounds like it. I am so sorry that I ever bid on your item. You are such a loser. You must really think that people find you funny but really they find you sick and pitiful. You should be a comedian.Ha. Ha
All right, the goober juices are flowing!
I'm a loser! And I'm sick and pitiful! Oh, horrors!
And, apparently, I'm a shill bidder to boot.
More hilarity will almost surely ensue -
>I recently checked out your clueless hall of fame [sic]
Did you learn anything? Probably not. How about that member #8, huh? Ever seen such rampant stupidity before?
>alot of people seem to differ with you
Let's see, you "check out" the Hall and discover less than a dozen screw-ups like yourself who "differ" with me, and conclude this constitutes "alot." Most reasonable people would conclude that I've had the displeasure of having to deal with about 10 monumentally dense people in the course of 20,000 transactions. But you, of course, being neither reasonable nor the sharpest knife in the drawer, can't even begin to fathom that.
>Are you one of those sellers who leaves positive feedbacks for
Yeah, that's right, for over 5 years I've bid on all of my stuff so I can leave myself feedback. I have over 8,400 different IDs! That's how I accumulated over 10,000 positive comments from over 8,400 different buyers. I left the 50-odd negatives, too!
Are you drunk or just dumber than I thought? I thought I had pretty much exhausted the gargantuan depth and breadth of your idiocy, but you keep coming up with new stupidity, so obviously I was wrong.
Speaking of idiocy, how's your big complaint to eBay going? Did they get around yet to telling you that they don't give a rat's ass about e-mail unless it was sent via their own mail servers?
Did they tell you that even then, they basically don't care what one member says to another unless it contains a threat of bodily harm? [I think the only reason they even care about that is because their lawyers have told them that they may face some civil liability should they ignore that sort of thing and one eBay member were to injure another after expressing an intention to do so using their e-mail system. Were that not true, I doubt they would care about any type of threat at all.]
Did they tell you that they're not your mommy and you should quit crying and stop bothering them with idiotic baloney?
If not, they will. Perhaps you should try my ISP after you wear out your welcome with the "law" and eBay. They need a laugh, too.
As your SASE showed up today, you'll be seeing your self-butchered money order soon. Just think, if you weren't such a blithering moron, you could have sent a correctly completed money order, and you'd soon be getting your merchandise and your butchered money order in the same box!
What a concept! But you were too effing dense to figure out that sellers with 10K of feedback aren't in the business of stealing 15 stinking dollars from some yahoo. Instead, you, the eBay expert, wind up with a negative and an unpaid item strike.
Idiot.
But, keep this great material coming! I'll get around to adding the rest of your addled musings to the little corner of my Clueless Bidder Hall of Fame dedicated to your uniquely mind-numbing version of cluelessness, soon!
Sure enough, that really did it.
Next day, up pops the best pile of run-on, mouth-breathing gibberish yet.
One of the beauties of this clown is that every e-mail is all one giant paragraph, so the HTML formatting of the gibberish to post here is a snap.
Well, except for noting all of the errors. This has become the current Hall record-holder with 17 -
Do you think for one moment that i [sic] care about a 15 dollar money order. get a life!!! Talk about hall of fame [sic] your name should be right at the top. I mean how many people really blow up over a 15 dollar money order.I can now think of one idiot. Do you think that one person is going to stop me from bidding on ebay [sic] ? Why don't you check out ebays [sic] live forums to see what they have to say about you. You might come to realize that you are in the hall of shame [sic] Im [sic] sorry [sic] I mean fame.I looked up big headed [sic] morron [sic] in the dictionary, and now know what you look like. Why don't you just get a life, or can you understand what i [sic] am saying. If not [sic] I just wrote it out for you!!!!!!!! You have also won a prize for being on the billboards [sic] top 100 natural born [sic] idiots. Pleasures [sic] all yours [sic] you sicotic [sic] morron [sic] .
This is unbelievable.
She is unstoppable.
Indefatigable.
A perpetual-motion machine of inanity.
Or, he is unstoppable. I still don't know which, nor do I care, although if it is a he, we know from his own statement that he's read this, and probably would have objected by now to my calling him a female, if the rest of the drivel is any indication.
Or, perhaps not, as that memory thing may have kicked in.
Regardless of gender, the blather, mistakes, goofy theories and hilarity are non-stop, so who cares?
Maybe she's trolling me. I'd give that idea some credence if she wasn't so rock-stupid and totally off-the-wall. Trolls are usually intelligent. Or, at least intelligent enough not to get as totally carried away with absurdities as #8 has.
Let's see, intelligent, carefully thought-out troll, or rock-stupid legitimate Hall member shooting from the hip with whatever pops into what passes for her mind?
I vote for rock-stupid.
I try the subtle approach -
Wow, I must say that I am highly impressed. Most people possessed of even minimal intelligence, upon realizing that they have dug themselves into a hole, stop digging, or at least stop digging so hard.
But not you! You dig faster and more furiously!
Let's examine yet more of your seemingly unending stream of delusions:
>Do you think for one moment that i [sic] care about a 15 dollar money order.
Well, actually, yes, I do, as would any other rational person. You see, it was you who said this:
"If you dont [sic] mail either the doll or the money i will assume you stole the money and I will seek further actions including the law."
Remember that? Probably not, right?
How about this:
"PLEASE MAIL BACK THE MONEY ORDER"
and
"I WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE MY PAYMENT BACK"
Any idea who might have said those things?
Why, it was none other than you! How about that!
Perhaps it's one of your other personalities who doesn't care about the money order.
>get a life!!!
Such originality. Really stunning. After being berated for using exactly that lame phrase, what do you do? Why, of course, you do it again. Twice. Must be that memory thing again, huh?
>Talk about hall of fame [sic] your name should be right at the top. I
Blow up?
Let's see, who was it that, unprovoked, started a ridiculous SquareTrade complaint and then left a negative feedback?
Oh, that's right, it was you!
So, the answer to your question of how many blow up over a $15 money order is one. Or, as you put it, "one idiot."
>Do you think that one person is going to stop me from bidding on ebay?[sic]
Paranoid much? But, hey, just because you think everyone is out to get you doesn't mean they're not.
>Why don't you check out ebays [sic] live forums to see what they have
Sorry, I care not a fig about what your fellow paranoids and mental defectives might have to say about anything in general and certainly not about me in particular.
I'd encourage you to have a good time ranting and agreeing with the drooling set, but reinforcing paranoid, delusional thoughts and behavior isn't a good thing to do.
>I looked up big headed [sic] morron [sic] in the dictionary
LOL. That must be some dictionary. Dikshunery fer Dummies, perhaps? Was it written by one of your fellow retards who spells as atrociously as you?
>You have also won a prize for being on the billboards [sic] top 100 natural
Gosh, I don't know how anyone can withstand your withering and original wit. Did it take you two hours or three to come up with that?
>Pleasures [sic] all yours [sic] you sicotic [sic] morron [sic] .
Sicotic?
Stop it, man, you're killing me!
And, four mistakes (three spelling, one punctuation) in six words is some sort of record, even for Hall members. At least you screw up "moron" consistently, even though you've seen the word twice recently, appropriately used by me with regard to none other than yourself! I, at least, can "appericate" that.
Keep it coming!
She may be many things, but familiar with a dictionary, any dictionary, ain't one of 'em.
Stay tuned, I don't think she's done. This despite suffering the most merciless, one-sided, non-stop thrashing that I've been given the opportunity to administer to one of our simple-minded bidding brethren in recent memory.
It's probably a little unfair to keep toying with what can only be properly described as a borderline functional illiterate. But, in the interest of providing quality Hall reading material, I'll press on and keep milking it for as long as she keeps burping up new, over-the-top gems.
Hopefully, she'll try to call in the FBI next.
Update - And the fireworks fizzle out
You never know what's next with this one, or two, or however many people are at her keyboard.
Wild accusations and paranoia gave way to dull and boring in a flash. Always misspelled and mostly unpunctuated, of course, but otherwise nearly devoid of humorous content.
As is almost always the case with Hall members, there was no rebuttal to embarrassing facts, glaring inconsistencies, misstatements, goofy theories, paranoid delusions, out-and-out lunacy, or, for that matter, to anything at all.
Like talking to a brick wall, only less interesting.
For this round, all she could muster was a little contradictory blather -
HERE we go again . do you have anything better to do? My item strike has
been removed.I willbe [sic] concating [sic] e bay [sic] costomer [sic] support on monday so just goahead [sic] and keep this up [sic] the more the merrier
And 10 minutes later to my Yahoo! address -
don't mail me again!
So, I sally forth on what will probably be my last attempt to wring further comedy out of this blithering moron -
>I willbe [sic] concating [sic] e bay [sic] costomer [sic] support on monday
LOL.
"Concating"? Sounds painful.
"Costomer support"? What's that, support for costumed customers? I didn't know you were a little kinky. Dense and paranoid, yes, kinky, no.
But, seriously, please do. As I said, they need a good laugh. Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! The seller said true things about me! Make it stop, mommy!
Since you don't seem to believe me when I tell you that they simply don't care, here's another clue for you. They will also tell you to stop e-mailing me. So, knock yourself out.
>so just goahead [sic] and keep this up [sic] the more the merrier
So, which personality is in charge? You can't have it both ways.
However, be aware that as the quality of your drivel has taken a serious nosedive, there just isn't much left to hold my interest. So, if you want to hear from me, you're going to have to give the keyboard to one of the more delusional voices in your head. Barring that, you're no longer worth the trouble.
Who knows, perhaps she'll oblige. I doubt it.
On the topic of removal of unpaid item strikes, the fact that she whined and lied her way out of it isn't at all surprising.
eBay seems to treat unpaid item strikes the same way that they treat bid retractions. Which is to say that they wink at them.
Just as they mostly slap people on the wrist for retractions made for stated reasons which are completely bogus, they allow non-payers to continue on their merry way without consequence on the flimsiest excuse if the non-payer bothers to "appeal" a strike. As opposed to following their very explicit removal rules.
Not a good idea, or a good direction for eBay to continue to head in, so I sent the following to Powerseller support (the item number was noted elsewhere on the complaint form)-
The removal of the unpaid item strike is unjustified, outrageous, and contrary to eBay rules.
User danielc2342 sent a money order which was not a USPS money order, the ONLY type of money order which is acceptable according to the terms of my listing.
In any case, the unacceptable money order was altered by scratching out another payee name and writing in my name, and my bank refuses to accept any such altered money order for deposit or any other purpose, as would any bank with any sense.
User danielc2342 has not provided any acceptable form of payment and, in fact, has stated repeatedly that no payment will be made.
User danielc2342 also seems to have a serious problem telling the truth, for instance, claiming in the eBay dispute record that "i sent her a stamped addressed envelope to send it back but she still refused."
In fact, at the point danielc2342 made that statement the SASE had not yet arrived, having been mailed by danielc2342 either the same day or the day before that statement was made, and I have never refused to return it as danielc2342 claims. danielc2342 can produce no proof that I "still refused" to return the money order because none exists.
danielc2342 was informed early on in this matter that the only way the unacceptable money order would be returned was a SASE or with the merchandise following receipt of an acceptable payment.
The SASE showed up 3 days later and the money order is now being returned exactly as danielc2342 was told it would be.
Meanwhile, no acceptable payment has been made and there is no justification for allowing danielc2342 to lie about facts with the result that the clear strike removal rules are blatantly abused.
What effect will that complaint have?
My guess is precisely none. But, that remains to be seen.
Meanwhile, the lame, lying, paranoid, cretinous, semi-literate goober otherwise known as Hall member number 8 might think twice before trying to jerk the next seller around.
Which, of course, other than the large amount of humor involved, is the point of all of these exercises in futility.
If you whack enough stubborn mules in the head with a 2x4 hard enough and long enough, some of them will get the message.
Update - How many hammers are in this bag?
Readers will recall that one of the more laughable of her many mental extrusions of excrement was to say "If I have it my way you won't be selling any more."
So, as I observed the accumulation of apparently double-sent e-mails, I looked a little more closely at what our eBay expert was up to. Seems she was sending copies of my e-mails to 'aw-confirm@ebay.com' with carbons to me.
Yeah, that'll do a lot of good.
Send your whining to an autopilot mail server which cranks out eBay auction notices and functions such that any responses to it are totally and completely, without exception, ignored by human beings.
Brilliant!
They must teach this stuff at eBay expert school.
I guess she eventually figured out that her no doubt carefully considered course of action to have her way and remove the scum that is me from eBay just wasn't working very well.
But, not before sending at least one e-mail to the nonexistent address 'aw-confirm"@ebay.com.'
The random quote mark tossed into the middle of it was a nice touch.
I suppose that after getting enough bounce messages and no response, which was no doubt to her great surprise and consternation, the moron figured out that it would be a good idea to actually communicate with customer service to make her earth-shattering complaint about me, the most vile scum on eBay, instead of just randomly flinging stuff at any old eBay address.
So, I started getting carbon copies of stuff sent to 'rswebhelp@ebay.com' which is actually a working customer service address. The genius entitled them "report harrassing emails" and they contained, ready for this?
[Cue drum roll]
Exactly nothing.
That's right. Blank, other than the subject line.
That'll get some instant action!
By the time she figures out that she's supposed to use the complaint form to waste their time, and send e-mails along with full headers, they'll have figured out that she's so farging dumb there's no point to even reading what she sends.
Perhaps she could just refer them to the Hall for a quick synopsis.
And, of course, exactly nothing is also what I've heard about the matter from eBay. As I told her would be the case. Repeatedly.
Meanwhile, as she flailed about attempting to provide customer service with some humor, she apparently also decided that lying is a good thing, and she should do more of it.
Which I figured was worth another complaint to Powerseller support -
User danielc2342 has commenced a fraudulent and harrassing "Item Not Received Dispute" regarding merchandise for which danielc2342 is well aware that no acceptable payment has been made.
The fact that danielc2342 fully understands that no acceptable payment was made is reflected in the attached e-mail of 4-13-05, which is but one of 14 e-mails from this semi-literate clown.
danielc2342 commenced this dispute with full knowledge of the fact that there is no proof of payment which could be provided in a subsequent "Reimbursement Claim" because no such proof exists.
Further, subsequent to the attached e-mail, danielc2342 has stated that no acceptable payment will be made and that danielc2342 doesn't want the merchandise.
In addition to lying about having made an acceptable payment in this dispute, danielc2342 also chose to lie in an unpaid item strike appeal which resulted in removal of the strike and about which I have complained separately.
In view of those facts, it is obvious that danielc2342 has opened this "Item Not Received" dispute on a fraudulent basis for the sole purpose of harrassment and that it is an abuse of your dispute resolution system.
Perhaps they'll begin to detect a certain pattern of deception. Maybe they'll also figure out that it borders on the delusional.
Will the complaint have any effect?
Probably not, but it was worth a shot.
A few days later, the rocket scientist sent this, out of the blue -
I received the money order today . Thank you
Rather subdued, don't you think?
Now, what could be responsible for this apparent outburst of sanity?
Did the Risperdal prescription get refilled?
Did eBay tell her to knock it off?
Perhaps the subject of this e-mail had something to do with it. It never fails. If I'm being yapped about on some discussion board, I always hear about it sooner or later -
I'm an EBay newbie and a Canadian but hopefully that won't go against me too much. I'm one of the loser?s that reads the community comments boards and was listening to the whininess of one Daniel about this nasty lady who wouldn't cash her messed up money order. So off I went to read this hateful page full of slanderous accusations and vile hate spewed words. This took me to your Hall of Fame. Best laugh I've had in ages! Thank you so much. I also have little tolerance for stupidity (even though my grammar and speeling [no kidding!] leave to be desired ;) . Though I've only listed and sold 2 items to date - don't you know it - I've got one idiot already. I only hope to be half as eloquent as you are with your replies. Bravo for your exceptionally well written and witty words to the reading challenged.
Well, how about that?
Even noob chat board lurkers think she's a whining twit.
And, I have no problem with the vast majority of relatively new eBay bidders. If newbie is defined as those with total feedback of 25 or less, they comprise somwhere between a quarter and a third of my bidders.
Every single, solitary day, weekends and holidays included, most of them read, attribute meaning to the words, and act accordingly. Just like most other people. Unlike #8.
Anyway, here are the referenced ramblings of my new favorite bumbling nincompoop bidder on eBay's Answer Center (here's the link for the curious, and please excuse my laziness in not bothering to highlight her usual plethora of spelling, punctuation, grammar and syntax errors) -
very rude seller
Posted: April 14, 2005 7:08 AM
danielc2342 (0) [view author's auctions] Posts: 1
I just recently started bidding on e bay .I won an item from rusty 33150 i sent her a money order from the bank i had messed up on one part of it but the bank said it would still be accepted . so i sent it and she replies send me a new one and i will send yours back when i receive the new one .any normal person would want their money back before sending a new one out. well it has turned into a battle . she keeps sending me e mails saying i'm stupid and that i have a personality disorder really crazy stuff. i really don't want the item anymore due to all of this. as far as i am concerned she can keep the money order to . is there anything i can do like to report her . you would not believe the things she wrote. dkc@adams.net
She got some answers, all right.
Thoroughly trashed by half a dozen posters.
Whereupon, ol' #8, who had already made it abundantly clear that inconvenient facts are to be assiduously ignored, did the totally predictable, cowardly thing and ran away from her own thread when instead of the desired response, nasty facts were relentlessly tossed back at her by people I don't know and didn't pay to do so.
Content-wise, here's the most notable thing. The thing which cemented her course, and the trigger for her entire attitude and subsequent spiraling descent into Hall membership -
"the bank said it would still be accepted."
I told her in the very first e-mail that there was no way my bank would accept it and obliquely said that I'd been through this before.
But, some clown in a bank had said, hey, no problem. Probably because they didn't want to go to the trouble of reissuing it.
And she bought it like it was written in stone. It was all downhill from there.
I mention this because it's a good place to elaborate slightly on some of the intricacies and pitfalls of money orders.
I once tried to deposit a similarly altered money order at least five times over a period of about three months. Every single time, the teller picked it out of a pile of 30 or 40 items and rejected it. It was amazing.
I wound up eating that one, as the item was long ago out the door. Unlike the unbankable money order.
Now, banks have been known to accept for deposit legitimate and perfectly valid money orders which are defective in some minor aspect.
Why, I've heard that, for instance, a money order, auto-signed by machine by the issuer, but unsigned by the person who purchased it, can pass muster under the hawk-like gaze of a teller if "Mickey Mouse" or "Donald Duck" or the cartoon character of your choice has been written in a seriously illegible scrawl in said purchaser signature blank.
Not that I've ever done anything like that. Of course not. Just something I've heard.
But, a payee name substituted for a scratched-out payee name is a horse of another color entirely.
Here's a helpful hint. Never believe much of anything that anyone who works in a bank he or she doesn't own tells you about banking.
Speaking of misinformation, I wonder what happened to the bravado of her previous statement -
Why don't you check out ebays
[sic] live forums to see what they have to say about you. You might come to realize that you are in the hall of shame
LOL
She burped that up two days after she posted her whine on the eBay Answer Center.
At that point, two people had already given her nitwittery a drubbing and no support at all had been forthcoming from the very large segment of the auction chat board audience who count on their fingers and move their lips when reading.
Must have been disconcerting.
Or, maybe that memory problem flared up yet again and she couldn't recall where it was that she did her whining.
Or, perhaps she made other posts elsewhere and attracted some high-fives from other dense and/or delusional logic-impaired crack-pots.
I doubt it, but only the bag of hammers knows for sure.
In any case, I marshalled the intestinal fortitude to try to summarize this abortion of a transaction and see if number 8 had gleaned any wisdom from her frantic and pitifully misguided efforts -
>I received the money order today
That must have been a great shock to you.
After all, everyone knows that eBay Powersellers all make their living screwing people out of $15 at a crack, right?
eBay "experts" like you, which is to say dolts, are the bane of my existence.
But, I'll nevertheless waste a few more words on you in a probably futile attempt to determine whether or not any of the lessons from your little experiment in self-implosion have penetrated whatever unknown substance it is that holds your ears apart.
If you've been following my commentary in the Hall, you'll recall that I referred to you as the "lame, lying, paranoid, cretinous, semi-literate goober otherwise known as Hall member number 8."
I should have added that you probably couldn't find your ass in a lit closet with both hands and a map.
Why would I make such statements?
Let's review the bidding thusfar. You, that's right, you, and only you:
1) failed to read the listing, failed to comprehend it, or didn't think the rules applied to you, and therefore purchased a non-USPS money order,
2) screwed up the payee name on the money order rendering it worthless,
3) took the word of some incompetent bank employee who said it would be accepted,
4) didn't ask me if I'd accept an altered money order before sending it,
5) demanded that I return it rather than asking what you should do or offering to remedy the problem,
6) started a meaningless SquareTrade complaint,
7) left an unjustified, idiotic negative,
8) threatened to go to the "law",
9) claimed that all money orders are the same, regardless of issuer, apparently believing that this delusion absolved you of all blame,
10) speculated that I leave feedback for myself,
11) lied about or failed to disclose the true nature and status of the unacceptable payment to get the non-payment stike reversed,
12) lied about or failed to disclose the true nature and status of the unacceptable payment to start a fraudulent merchandise-not-received complaint,
13) sent e-mails to an eBay addesss which isn't capable of responding,
14) sent blank e-mails to an eBay addesss which is capable of responding, and
15) set multiple Hall records for misspellings and twisted grammar and have generally butchered the English language as few can.
That litany of facts comprises some seriously mind-numbing stupidity, don't you agree?
Now that multiple people on an eBay chat board have also derided your reading skills and generally told you that you're full of it, perhaps you have seen the light.
If so, it's mission accomplished.
By the way, the truth is an absolute defense to libel and the expression of opinion is not libel in all 50 states, so save any uninformed, insipid comments about the law and my statements about you and your actions.
Just admit that you were wrong in all respects from the start.
Admit that you're about the furthest thing imaginable from being an expert on eBay.
Admit that you had no clue about what you have talked about, regardless of topic.
We both know these things to be true. My point has been made, and not just by me. Whether you get it or not is the only open matter of passing curiosity.
The readers of the Hall await your response.
Who knows?
Perhaps she'll agree and apologize for messing up the transaction, which would have been simple and routine, but for her involvement.
Nah.
It ain't in the nature of Hall members to do such a thing.
Update - Theater of the absurd, final act
Mash this to read on.
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