Well, 3,000 transactions and about a year later, the inevitable finally happened.
The second honoree made a dumb mistake in bidding, compounded it by ignoring notice of it, only grudgingly finally admitted her error, further compounded it by deciding that she would attempt to dictate what she owed, came up with an incorrect amount in the process, made wild accusations along the way, and then finally paid, her wings having been clipped by eBay.
All in all, a truly remarkable performance by a truly clueless bidder.
Here are the pertinent parts of the e-mail exchange, she's in red, I'm in blue, my comments are in black -
I have no idea what is going on with this auction. I did NOT bid $100 on the doll, at least not intentionally! yet the bid history shows that amount linked to my eBay ID for this auction. < snip >
The only explanation I can come up with is that I must have put in a bid of $10.00, and the bid of $100.00 was a type-o
[sic - too funny, unless it's a reference to her blood type, she can't even spell typo]
I would suggest that you contact the second highest bidder
< snip more useless advice >
because the type-o [sic] may actually have been my error [emphasis mine], I will pay for your eBay listing fees so you can re-list it right away.
Uh huh, right, you didn't bid, but maybe you did, and if you did, it might possibly be your error, in your infinite wisdom you have lots of free advice for me, and you're going to dictate the amount you pay me.
I don't think so.
I responded -
Let's see, you, who received an initial bid e-mail from eBay and yet failed
to cancel your bid, screw up my auction, cause me to waste time reading your lame excuses, want me to bother to look up fees, and complain because I didn't answer your e-mail instantly?
That's not how this is going to work
My offer to you, as you could pay for it and then return it at a net cost to you of shipping charges in both directions, is that I will accept 10.00 in satisfaction of your obligation and then forget you exist
A generous offer indeed, as she could be required to pay the $100 plus shipping/handling for the item, hope the USPS doesn't lose or damage it (or also pay for insurance), take the time to haul it back to the post office to return it for a refund and once again hope that the USPS doesn't lose or damage it (or also again pay for insurance).
Of course, no good deed goes unpunished -
< snip >
I offered to pay your eBay fees, so that you wouldn't lose that money and you could relist right away.
< snip >
INITIAL BID NOTICE? Yes. I got one. I deleted it. [emphasis mine] I get so many.
< snip boring blather >
SCREW UP YOUR AUCTION? I would say that the person who jumped the bid up from $35 to $80, and then put in bid after bid, reaching $99 WITHIN SIX MINUTES is the one who screwed up your auction.[of course, she ignores the fact that it was her $100 bid that is solely responsible for the price going above $37 as she once again tries to shift blame away from herself] It looks suspiciously like SHILL bidding, if you ask me [emphasis mine]
< snip >
Well, now, she admits that she never read the one e-mail which would have prevented the entire problem, yet proceeds to again try to shift blame, has the unmitigated gall to accuse me of shill-bidding, and still thinks she can dictate what she owes.
So I took advantage of her obvious lack of knowledge of the legalities of the matter after she unilaterally sent $3.67 via PayPal (which was not only an incorrect calculation of eBay's fees, but also didn't take PayPal's fee into account).
Not that the nuances of contract law as it regards what constitutes an offer or an acceptance were going to play any big role in this issue, but it did present an opportunity to toss in a purely technical point just to see how ridiculous the reaction would be -
As you did not gain my agreement to any other amount, your payment of
$3.67 amounts to an acceptance of my offer to allow you to satisfy
your obligation by the payment of $10.00, and I look forward to receiving
the balance of $6.33
Should you fail to complete our agreement by 8-22-02, a non-payment
complaint will be filed with eBay
Perhaps in the future you will find it to be to your advantage to pay
more attention to e-mail notices of bidder status from eBay
And, perhaps next time you will wonder how a bid for $10.00 could
possibly result in you becoming the high bidder when the existing high
bidder had already bid the minimum $9.99 hours earlier and the bid
increment is more than a penny [she subsequently completely ignored this telling jab, but if she had wondered about it at the time for even a second, it might have dawned on her that whatever she had just entered wasn't a bid for 10.00]
But, regardless, I'm absolutely positive that you will be well served
by keeping your wild and completely baseless accusations of shill-bidding
to yourself
Should I ever find that you have made any such public allegation
against me, not only will you find such irresponsible and illegal behavior
immediately brought to the attention of eBay, but you will find out
how expensive it is to defend an action for libel and tortious interference
Please govern yourself accordingly
Of course, she thinks she can repair the damage to her position after the horse is already out of the barn, and goes on to offer more unsolicited advice, another opinion of what an "invalid" bid is, and starts whining for vindication from eBay, still having no clue that she's fighting a losing battle to escape responsibility -
My payment of $3.67 to you DOES NOT IN ANY WAY [sic] constitute acceptance of your so-called [sic] "offer". I merely followed through with my promise
to pay your eBay fees, so that you might re-list the doll if you wish.
You have been completely [sic] reimbursed for your eBay fees. Any further delay in re-listing the doll is your responsibility. [she has now brought this up four times even though I have never mentioned it, I can only speculate that she thought that relisting this item was somehow important to me when, in fact, I couldn't have cared less about when it got relisted]
I suggest that you contact the first bidder in this auction
< snip >
The second bidder in reply to my email, stated
< snip junk about other bidder's husband bidding >
These ridiculous bids could certainly be considered invalid,
< snip >
I have already written to eBay
< snip self-serving garbage >
At this point, I'm starting to smell a potential Hall of Famer, and since I'm obviously not getting through to her I tried to be more explicit -
Kindly save your blather for someone who cares, there are just a few
elemental concepts involved in this matter which even you should be
able to understand and act upon -
YOU obligated yourself by bidding, and how or why you did it is
unimportant
YOU failed to cancel your bid when you had the opportunity to do so,
and how or why you failed to do so is unimportant
YOU caused your own problem, and you either complete the agreed $10.00
payment by 8/22/02 or I will lodge my non-payment complaint with eBay
There is nothing further to be said about the matter
Sure enough, she, being one of those people who just has to have the last word, responded -
Your rude [sic] demand [sic] for $10 was NOT [sic] agreed upon
Although this single sentence contained three major errors, I ignored it, but, lo and behold, three days later, another PayPal payment for 6.33 shows up with this lovely little note -
Subject: balance of demanded [sic] $10 - in response to your threats [sic]
Only because I wish to maintain a good relationship with eBay, am I paying your rude [sic] demands [sic]. Personally, it will be better for me if I never waste another millisecond thinking of you and your insulting [sic] manner. It is truly amazing to me [of this I have absolutely no doubt] that eBay has not yet reprimanded you for your rude [sic] and hateful [sic] treatment of fellow eBay members, but sometimes justice is slow in being served. I am confident that in your case it will be appropriately served sooner or later, hopefully before you drive more decent [sic] and caring [sic] people away from eBay.
Well, even though she has finally realized, or shall I say, been flat-out told, that she must pay for her actions, and she has finally coughed up the balance of the amount I originally offered to settle the matter for thousands of words ago, her attitude still needs some serious adjustment -
Gosh, it sure is hilarious watching someone twist logic and reason into a pretzel in the process of trying to rationalize their ridiculous actions and previous statements
Because of the high comic value of your latest knee-slapper, I will respond to the infantile ranting it contains, despite the extremely low odds of anything actually penetrating your apparently thick skull
First, instead of immediately accepting my fair offer (look it up, you won't find "threat" in the definition) of $10 to satisfy your obligation, you had to make silly excuses, whine to eBay, and waste more time
Of course, you, blowhard that you are, thought that you could just make up your own rules as you go along, prattle on about non-existent shill-bidding (my comments to you about those childish assertions were indeed a threat to act if you made any public utterance of your libelous delusions), and hope eBay would endorse your attempt to evade your obligation
Too bad eBay slapped you down, huh?
Which is obviously what happened as you were smugly going on your merry way without regard to the obligation created by your actions and subsequent inaction
My experience has been that whiners like you are all basically alike in thinking you can just do as you please and label anyone who calls you on it "insulting" or "rude" or "hateful"
I've also noticed that "mean" and "hostile" are also popular with people who have trouble comprehending simple facts which conflict with their self-rightous and simple-minded little universes in which their elevated levels of self-esteem prevent them from realizing that they don't have a clue
As for driving people away from eBay, whiners and excuse-makers like you who don't have a concept of obligation are generally driven away by eBay itself, usually when they suspend them for acting as you intended to act in this case
Not to mention the unsurprising fact that you make a liar out of yourself with your own words about wanting to remain in eBay's good graces, and thus, unfortunately, you haven't been driven anywhere by me
I'm sick and tired of self-proclaimed "decent" and "caring" people like you who act in the despicable manner in which you attempted to in this case, which is why I brook no nonsense from them in my demands to comply with terms and honor obligations
"Decent" and "caring", indeed
Decent only so long as you don't disagree with their warped interpretations of simple concepts like being obligated by bidding, when they then resort, as you so well demonstrate, to the only thing they do well, which is name-calling
Caring, as you also so well demonstrate, only to the extent that they care about themselves and avoiding their clear obligations
eBay will never take issue with my actions in this or any similar case because they have no interest in allowing people with your attitude about legal obligations to get away with their childish game-playing and foot-stomping
The only one who deserved to be reprimanded and set straight was you, and you have been, and, like it or not, "justice" has been served in this case as you, empty protestations and ad hominem attacks notwithstanding, were forced to honor your obligation
Get over it, and try not to make such a jackass out of yourself next time
Which thusfar has been met with deafening silence.
The most ironic thing about this sanctimonious twerp's supreme confidence in her delusions about eBay "reprimanding" me is that the last eBay customer service rep who read this very page found it extremely funny.
It's too bad she hasn't seen all of the e-mail comments I get from bidders who are extremely happy about having straightforward rules and procedures, about knowing that they are aware of all of my terms up-front, and about promptly receiving their merchandise without having had to waste the time to send even a single e-mail either before or after winning an auction.
It's too bad she didn't like being called on her attempt to dictate terms which aren't hers to dictate.
It's too bad she didn't like being told in no uncertain terms that she's not going to get away with it.
It's too bad she didn't like hearing the unvarnished truth.
It's too bad she tried her little stunt on someone who has heard it all before and has lost all patience with self-righteous twits who can't be bothered to pay even minimal attention to what they're doing and who then try to weasel their way out of their responsibilities.
It's too bad she didn't just accept my initial offer and save herself the aggravation.
It's too bad the incompetent are too incompetent to see their own incompetence.
But then again, perhaps not, because then she wouldn't have managed to become only the second member of my Clueless Bidder Hall of Fame.
Update
It took her a few days, but she finally coughed up this gem -
You obviously are an extremely sick individual
Perhaps you should seek professional help for your illness
There's that "gotta have the last word" tendency surfacing again, with perhaps a little projection tossed in.
She can't speak to anything substantive because she's already been demolished, and her ad hominem attack should probably get some sort of award for being abjectly lame.
Perhaps there was no grade-schooler around to help her out.
Oh well, the intellectually incompetent never do seem to be able to resist bringing a knife to a gun fight.
Not worth a response, but that's OK because there's another inductee to add...