02.
For those who only see what they want to see, here's a blow-up of all of the pertinent digits on the envelope -
The box came back undeliverable.
Now, the post office mail carrier probably could have solved this problem as 16502 and 16302 are obviously not very far apart, but that didn't happen.
So, when I explained what she had done and gave her the choice of a $2.50 refund or the payment of another shipping charge, I got this in response -
Im [sic] not sending you any more money. Im [sic] sorry, but if you cant [sic] read my writing, please send me my money back in full.I would still like to have my merchandise. Im [sic] not trying to be difficult, but I just don't see why I should be out more money.Im [sic] trying to be nice.
Followed shortly, and without any intervening response from me, by -
Hey, Im [sic] not trying to be mean, but I want my full 6.95 back. I cant [sic] help it if you can not read my hand writing [sic].Im [sic] not sending any more money. I have read your history as you might have good feedback but you also have bad and all you care about is ratings < snip > I dont [sic] want to leave negative feedback < snip > Have a great day.
Which is interesting only in that she makes a feedback threat, because the rest is only the confused blather of an imbecile who is desperately trying to avoid paying for her lack of attention to detail.
As a seller, I don't solicit feedback and only leave it in response to a winner who has bothered to make a comment.
Which means that I forego many possible positive comments, but it simply doesn't matter, as even the biggest rock-headed bidder in existence should be able to get the general idea after reading a dozen or two.
But, since I do object to unjustified negative comments, and since it can be quite a bit of fun to see what a deficient mind can cough up when prodded, I responded -
I see that your ability to understand simple English and form reasoned conclusions is even more feeble and severely impaired than your skill at forming legible Arabic numerals
Amazingly, that hasn't prevented you from becoming a very highly accomplished whiner and honing your sense of entitlement to an extremely fine edge
The harsh reality is that you alone have managed to completely defeat the usual purpose of writing to communicate accurate information, as your package is the only undeliverable of over 9,000 in five years
It saddens me that I have nothing to properly commemorate your unique and abysmal failure
When your refund arrives, you'll find it is in the amount of $2.50
You may now proceed to publicly embarrass yourself by leaving me the syntactically mangled and misspelled negative which I'm sure will gurgle up out of the mass of misfiring synapses which hold your ears apart
I trust you'll enjoy your resultant "0" feedback rating
And, totally missing the point, but in more or less expected form she responded -
This will be the last email that you will get from [sic] Im [sic] not like you and play childish bat crap. I just wanted my money back. < snip > have a nice day
To which I said -
Bat crap?
How old are you, 12 or 13?
Never mind, your insipid comments only demonstrate that as a poster child for the ignorance-is-bliss sector of the population, any further comment would a waste of time
Whereupon, she promptly left this libelous feedback (included verbatim here for those of you that didn't get here from my Yahoo! feedback page) -
"**WARNING WARNING WARNING*** To anyone who tries to bid on this auction, beaware [sic] that this person is dishonest, a THIEF and if you try to deal with her she is rude and disrespectful. Look at her negatives, she just comes up with excuses. I tried to buy" [yup, that was the end]
as predicted, right down to the fact that it would be syntactically mangled and misspelled.
It's a good thing I have a sense of humor, or she'd need a good libel attorney, however, her little screed will get her noticed by the Yahoo! auction police (if they haven't laid them all off) at my behest.
If anyone recognizes her handiwork, please implore her to get some remedial help in understanding basic English words like "thief", "dishonest", "deal", "rude", "disrespectful" and "excuse", although you should probably work in a little praise on her ability to use "bat crap" in a sentence fragment so you don't damage her precious unearned self-esteem too terribly much.
And, a quick review course in penmanship with emphasis on "3" and "5" and/or a gift of address labels or a return address rubber stamp probably couldn't hurt either.
Unfortunately we'll never know what other venom was coursing through her distended veins, as her furious typing exceeded the 255 character limit.
I guess I shouldn't expect the clueless to be aware of such things (even though it's clearly stated on the Yahoo! feedback entry form), or lose too much sleep wondering what vapidity she ejected next.
However, her pitiful foot-stomping outburst did unquestionably make her first among 15 (at the time) other Yahoo! equals (read my other negatives, some of them are hilarious) and qualified her to be the initial inductee into the Hall of Fame.
While she has truly set a very high standard for admission, somehow I doubt that she'll remain the sole member, as that 1% is always out there, waiting to demonstrate their ignorance and vacuity.
A side benefit of memorializing this was the crystallization of Donna's First Law of Auction Problems - 99% of all problems are caused by 1% of all bidders.
And, of course, its First Corollary - Less than 1/10th of one percent of revenue will be generated by all problem bidders combined.
Not to mention the fact that I'm no longer saddened at not having an appropriate way to properly commemorate her unique and abysmal failure.
