First, lest anyone get the wrong idea, let me be clear about the fact that I enjoy dealing with 99% of my bidders.
The 99% who take the few moments necessary to actually read a listing.
The 99% who manage to follow straightforward and simple instructions and procedures without the slightest difficulty.
The 99% who pay reasonably promptly and who appreciate promptly receiving exactly what was described.
They're a pleasure to deal with.
In the course of selling my first 50,000 items, I thought I'd seen and heard it all from the remaining 1%.
If you've been selling for any significant amount of time, you're no doubt familiar with the 1% who -
- Ask questions which are fully answered in every listing
- Send payment with absolutely no clue about what is being paid for
- Identify what is being paid with nothing except an incorrect auction number
- Make excuses about why they can't pay for a $1.00 item
- Don't ever pay after first making six excuses and promises to pay
- Choose a padded envelope instead of a box and complain about shipping damage
- Don't pay for insurance and complain about shipping damage or loss
- Make up their own shipping charge for a method which isn't even possible
- Make up their own shipping charge for multiple wins when it must be requested
- Expect a free appraisal of all of their other similar items
- Expect you to sign up for a payment service you don't accept
- Want to know what the words "minor marks" mean on loose items even though English is their native language
- Demand to know exactly what made a mark on an item as if you run some sort of chemical analysis laboratory
- Demand the refund of shipping charges when "shipping/handling charges are not refundable" is explicit in the guarantee
- Expect the return of an item to be accepted when the guarantee expired months ago or there was shipping damage
- Leave negative feedback about the quality of an item before they have even paid for it, never mind received it
- Allow their children to place numerous unauthorized bids, laugh it off as being "cute", and refuse to pay
- Ask questions after the auction they won is over and don't consider themselves obligated to pay
- Claim they never knew they won even though every site sends win e-mails and leaves closed auctions up for weeks or months
- Claim their item was never shipped, shout "thief" and demand a refund having forgotten that they received it months ago and left positive feedback
I was wrong about having seen or heard it all. The indisputable evidence of that is the fact that the sale of my next 45,000 items generated the members of this Hall.